What to do while you wait for therapy

Waiting for therapy is not always easy, especially after experiencing a significant life event, and it is important to care of yourself and prioritise your mental health and wellbeing during this time.

Please pick and choose between the ideas suggested below. We do not expect you to implement them all into your life immediately, simply have a look, try them out, and see what works best for you and your body.

• Self-care

  Physical activity

  • Whether you are in need of some gentle exercise like yoga, or cathartic exercise like cardio, any form of physical activity is good to help get your body moving and can be a great mood booster.

  • If you can get outside in nature and go for a walk to get some fresh air, this can be particularly beneficial for your mental wellbeing and 'clearing your mind.'

  • If you want to enhance the mental wellbeing benefits of your walk, try walking in green spaces like parks and blue spaces like rivers or both! These have been shown to have additional mental wellbeing effects on top of physical activity, if you are interested in finding out more click here(look at 3. Contributions of Green and Blue Exercise to Well-Being).

  Good food

  Your gut will appreciate good food, and there are strong links between diet and mood. So, what you eat will impact how you feel. It is normal to have a disrupted appetite after someone close to you passes away, as this has a physical impact on the body, and can disrupt your body's normal cycle. This may make you more or less hungry than normal, and both are natural and completely normal reactions to grief.

  The most important thing is to ensure you eat something every day and try incorporating some fruit and veggies into your diet, to nourish your body and mind. To enhance the benefits of good food, get together with friends and family and share a home-cooked meal together click here to find out more. You may also want to cook the favourite meal of your loved one, or one that you always cooked with them, as a way of honouring them and still maintaining a feeling of closeness after their passing.

  Sleep

  It is common for your body to feel exhausted during this time, so it is important to provide your body with more opportunities to rest. Try creating a consistent bedtime routine that allows your body to settle and relax before attempting to sleep. Aim to get 7-9 good quality hours of sleep most evenings.

  
  Meditation

  Whilst mindfulness and meditation may not be for everyone, it is worth a try to figure out whether it may work for you. Simply put your phone down, sit in a quiet space where you won't be distracted, and take two minutes for yourself. Take several deep breaths, pushing out your stomach as you breathe in, and contracting your stomach as you breathe out. Try to take pauses between the cycles of breath, and notice how you feel afterwards. This is a simple example of a mindful breathing exercise, but you can find more details about box breathing by clicking here.

  Lettie, one of our interns describes her experience of meditation:

  • "I found it difficult to meditate or do yoga in the first year following my father's passing, but the more I practised it and allowed myself time and space to do it, I found it very healing, and now these are practices are part of my life, helping me relax and cope during difficult situations."

• Coping mechanisms

  Journalling

  Getting your thoughts down on paper is a great way of gaining insight into how you are really feeling, and it allows you to express yourself without fear or judgement. This process can allow you to relieve stress, and help process the difficult or complex emotions you may experience. Journalling also allows you to keep track of how your thoughts and feelings have progressed over time, and how far you have come since the beginning of your journey.

  Alternative methods of expression

  • You may also choose to write a letter to or about your loved one. This can help you process feelings, or perhaps things that you wish you had said to them, or parts of your future you wanted them to see.

  • Doodling can be a great method of stress relief and can help you process your emotions and grieve those you have lost. You could also take this as an opportunity to draw a 'grief' journey and track how far you have come.

  Listen to music that reminds you of them

  Music can evoke positive memories that bring joy and good feelings, reminding us of the moments we spent with that person listening to that music. Try creating a playlist of songs that remind you of them to listen to when you would like to be reminded of their presence through song.

  Social support network

  • Your social support network is there for you in times of need. Try meeting up with a close friend or family member in person, or FaceTime them if they live far away or you don't feel like leaving the house. Especially those who are going through or have been through similar experiences. Sharing these feelings with others can provide you with comfort and enhance the strength of connections with those around you.

    Lettie, one of our interns recalls her experience:

  • "I found it particularly useful to stay in contact with friends during the initial grieving period, rather than isolating myself, as this provided me with the support and mood boost that I needed."

  Listen to a podcast about grief

  Podcasts that discuss the experience of grieving let you know that you are not alone in this, which helps to normalise your feelings and experiences. Here are some examples of podcasts you may enjoy listening to:

  • If we don't laugh we'll cry

  • The Dead Parent Club

  • Griefcast

  • Grief gang

  Online communities

  Joining an online grief community created by those who can empathise with what you’re going through, allowing you to normalise your experiences, and know that you are not alone. Here are some examples of online grief communities and resources:

  • Untangle

  • Meet 'n' Grief

  • Grieving.com

  • Talk Grief

• Immediate Help

  If you are struggling and require serious or professional help, please refer to the links and phone numbers below:

  Cruse Bereavement Support Helpline

  (0808 808 1677)

  9.30 am - 5 pm, Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday

  1 pm – 8 pm on Tuesday

  Closed on Saturday and Sunday

  Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide

  (0300 111 5065)

  9 am - 9 pm every day

  Marie Curie Bereavement and Grief Support Helpline

  (0800 090 2309)

  8 am - 6 pm Monday to Friday

  11 am - 5 pm on Saturday

  Grief Encounter

  (0808 802 0111)

  9:30 am - 3 pm, Monday to Friday

  Winston's Wish

  (08088 020 021)

  8 am - 8 pm, Monday to Friday