Navigating Grief: Grieving differently to your family

When you have lost one, or both parents, conversations with family can be helpful as they are likely to understand. However, it can also be tricky to navigate as everyone experiences grief differently, which can be really hard to deal with. Here are some tips on how to approach these conversations.

A note to say that every family is different. If you’re finding conversations with family too difficult, know it is okay to reach out to others for support. Whether it’s friends, online communities or professionals. It is also helpful to have some outlets that help you feel calm, like journalling, exercise or breathing techniques.

Taking time and listening

Grief is painful. Pain can make us act without thinking things through. Seeing people grieve differently from us can be difficult. It may bring feelings of frustration or loneliness. It can be helpful in these moments to take some time out, to think through your feelings, their feelings and trying to empathise.

Finding common ground

It can be helpful to find common ground, like sharing memories or finding connections like cooking your loved one’s favourite meal. If you’re finding a lot of differences in grief, things like this can help you feel closer and supported.

Acknowledging difference

It is okay to acknowledge differences in your grief, however, it can be helpful to approach this gently. Talk about what you’re feeling and empathise with them. It is important that the conversation doesn’t feel judgemental or confrontational.

Conflicts

Understand that conflicts may arise within the family as a result of grief. Remember that grief can heighten emotions, making conflicts more challenging to navigate. In these moments it may be helpful to reach out to friends, communities or professionals.

Milestones

A way to feel closer in grief can be acknowledging certain milestones. For example, your parent’s anniversary or a member of your family passing exams during grief. Acknowledging each other's hard days or progress can help you feel closer and supported despite differences.