Navigating Grief: Coping with the Loss of a Parent Despite a Strained Relationship

It’s okay to feel a mix of emotions

It’s okay to have conflicting feelings, whether sadness, anger, relief, or even just feeling numb. It’s easy to try and hide or deny these hard emotions, we may feel guilty but allowing yourself to feel whatever you feel will help you long term. Trying to hide your feelings can just make the process harder for you. 

If you’re not comfortable speaking these feelings, try writing them down. Whether it’s on paper or just in the notes of your phone. Writing all the thoughts down can help you work through them and make your brain feel a little less busy. 

Remember, grief is complex, and there's no 'right' or 'wrong' way to feel.

Knowing you can grieve

Navigating grief can become more complex when you've had a challenging relationship with the person you've lost.

You might even question the validity of your grief, feeling like you "shouldn't be grieving" because of the difficulties you experienced.

But it's important to understand that your grief is valid. There's no guidebook for grieving – every emotion you're feeling is legitimate. Regardless of the nature of your relationship, the person you've lost held significance in your life.

Grieving the possibilities

Grieving the things that could've been adds another tough layer to the grief you're already feeling. When you lose someone you didn't have the best relationship with, it hits even harder thinking about the "what ifs." 

Having these difficult thoughts is normal, but know you’re not alone. Reach out to others, and share your story, there will always be someone who understands.

Reaching out and connecting to others 

Reaching out for support might seem daunting, but know, there are always people who can relate. Whether it's through peer groups, online communities, friends, family, or professionals, people will understand. Remember, no family is flawless, regardless of the polished images often portrayed on social media.

Reach out to others who have gone through similar experiences. Sharing stories and finding common ground can and you often feel lighter for talking!

Tapping into your coping mechanisms

Take time to do the things that make you feel better. Whether it’s taking more time to rest, seeing friends, mindfulness, or journaling. It's important to listen to your needs and take breaks when necessary, especially since grief tends to come in waves, and those waves can be really hard.