Supporting a friend as they navigate: Funerals, Memorials and Death rituals

Ceremonies to commemorate your friends loved ones can be a difficult topic or situation to manage. Funerals, death rituals, memorials or however their loved ones are being commemorated, can be very complicated, personal and emotional. Each situation can be vastly different, yet we hope to help with some general advice that can be applied to make moments of remembrance feel more approachable.

• Listening to other people’s experiences of the specific ceremony you are attending can help you prepare if you have not experienced anything similar before. Podcasts such as If we don’t laugh we’ll cry & Great Grief by Nnenna Freelon are great resources to start with about understanding grief and different perspectives of death.

• People may celebrate the loss of a loved one through family traditions or less formal memorials. A good way to approach these topics or situations is to remember people can find sentimentality through such a variety of things. It can be quite a vulnerable position sharing what reminds them of their loved one who has passed, whether that be a particular song, celebrity, animal or book. Do not be afraid to acknowledge this sentimentality with your friend, as it can create a comfortable environment to express their grief.

• Remembering the date of when a ceremony was held for your friend loved one can be a productive way to support them. Marking on a diary or your phone the exact date or roughly the month they lost a parent, is a stepping stone to encourage a more empathetic approach to how your friend might be feeling.