Book recommendations for young grievers
Reading about grief and other people’s experiences of loss can be a hugely helpful tool in processing your own feelings. It can provide a safe space to process and examine your own grief, as well as reminding you that you are not alone. Luckily, there are plenty of wonderful books on grief that have been written from different kinds of perspectives and experiences.
Books on grief can also be a thoughtful gift to someone in your life who may be struggling. Maybe you feel helpless and don’t have the right words, but a book can be a lovely gesture to show someone you care.
Here are a handful that I have found particularly useful (and comforting) over the past few years.
The Tidal Year by Freya Bromley
“People told me the memories will be yours forever and you’ll never forget. But you do. I did, at least. Survival had meant shutting out all of the pain and in doing so, I’d shut out Tom’s memory. I didn’t want to admit to myself that I couldn’t hear his voice or remember his face clearly anymore… it felt like i had to choose between moving forward and losing him forever or remembering and living in pain.’
“The Tidal Year" is a moving and candid exploration of grief, loss, and the complexities of healing. Freya Bromley's beautiful prose captures the nuances of navigating life after losing a loved one, especially within the shifting dynamics of a family. Her raw honesty about the challenges of memory, the less-discussed impacts of grief on various aspects of life, and the imperfect but determined journey of putting one foot in front of the other makes this a deeply relatable and refreshing read.
As Freya swims through tidal pools across the UK, we witness her resilience and vulnerability, reminding us that healing is not a linear path, but a continuous journey of self-discovery and acceptance.
Losing Young by Rachel Wilson
‘Many young grievers when their friends are trying. Many have empathy for the discomfort their friends might feel. Many worry about over-burdening their friends or expecting too much… where friendships or romantic relationships break in the wake of grief, more often than not the fault lines already existed. Grief simply makes them intolerable.’
Drawing on a range of research, “Losing Young” brings together stories of bereavement with Rachel’s own loss, encountering people who have lost parents, siblings, partners and friends at a young age.
This book validates the unique challenges faced by young grievers, offering comfort and solidarity in a world where their pain is often misunderstood. Wilson's insightful exploration of the spectrum of grief, coupled with her ability to articulate complex emotions, makes this a must-read for anyone grappling with loss at a young age. Being specifically aimed at young people, “Losing Young” touches on some of the key experiences of young bereaved people, and the specific issues faced by this demographic, making it such a comforting and reassuring read.
It's Your Loss: Living With Grief Is Hard. We Hope This Book Will Help by Emma Hopkinson and Robyn Donaldson
“The thing I realised, 11 years on ...is that those first few years are desperate and freewheeling and come in hideous high definition with surround sound…It makes me really tired to think about the energy I needed when I was first bereaved. The focus it took. The scale of it. To look at it now and be able to not have to immediately take an action is wonderful. You will get there.”
"It's Your Loss" is a comforting and insightful guide to navigating grief, penned by two friends who have walked the path of loss themselves. Emma and Robyn's candid and relatable style, interwoven with personal anecdotes, practical advice, and expert insights from a psychotherapist, creates a supportive space for anyone grappling with bereavement.
This book doesn't shy away from the raw emotions of grief, offering both solace and practical tools to cope with loss. It's a "how-to" manual for healing, infused with humour, empathy, and a touch of tough love. "It's Your Loss" is the next best thing to having two wise and compassionate friends by your side as you navigate the complexities of grief.
The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion
“Grief turns out to be a place none of us know until we reach it. We anticipate (we know) that someone close to us could die, but we do not look beyond the few days or weeks that immediately follow such an imagined death…Nor can we know ahead of the fact (and here lies the heart of the difference between grief was we imagine it and grief as it is) the unending absence that follows, the void, the very opposite of meaning, the relentless succession of moments during which we will confront the experience of meaninglessness itself.”
The year of magical thinking is an account of the year following the death of the author's husband John Gregory Dunne. It is incredibly raw, and as the readers we accompany Joan on a journey of making sense of death and discovering her own sense of grief and mourning.
Joan struggles to make sense of the new world she finds herself in, and is often caught between the past and present. It is most definitely a touching portrayal of grief - it might not be for everyone, but if you enjoy lucid prose and want a truly candid exploration of loss, this is a truly moving book.
While not a traditionally uplifting read, Didion's vulnerability and honesty offer a unique and moving perspective on grief, allowing readers to accompany her on this deeply personal journey.
Joan is honest, vulnerable, and raw, and in turn, allows her readers to take the journey with her.
Cheer the F**k up by Jack Rooke
‘A different interpretation of how that fear manifests itself and how it punctures your childhood bubble. It fractures your vision of the adolescence you thought you were going to have.’
Cheer the F**k up' is a part memoir/part advice manual from Jack Rooke - a 25 year old who lost his dad as a teenager. The mixture of comedy and vulnerability in this book makes it so special. Jack talks about his grief in such a real and relatable way, but also gives a lot of really helpful advice for young people facing various challenges.
As the book progresses, we get to see Jack’s grief change as he goes through different stages of life, and how it continues to affect him in different ways. But ultimately, how he turns it into a power that drives him to achieve his dreams.
Rooke's story is a testament to the power of turning pain into purpose, reminding us that even in the darkest moments, there is always the potential for laughter, hope, and ultimately, triumph. It’s funny, sad, and is incredibly useful for young people navigating grief.
The Last Act of Love by Cathy Retzenbrink
‘I am no longer surprised that my reservoir of grief is so full and refillable. Because I am no longer surprised, I am much better able to live with it. I weave it into my days. I can cry and laugh at the same time.’
"The Last Act of Love" is a heart-wrenching yet ultimately hopeful memoir about love, loss, and the agonising decisions families face when confronted with tragedy. Cathy Rentzenbrink's raw and unflinching honesty paints a vivid picture of her family's unwavering devotion to her brother Matty, who was left in a permanent vegetative state after a devastating accident.
With breathtaking prose, Rentzenbrink explores the complexities of grief, the shifting nature of relationships, and the difficult choices made out of love. This is not a tale of misery, but a testament to the enduring power of human connection, resilience, and the ability to find hope even in the darkest of times. Rentzenbrink's poignant storytelling will leave you deeply moved, questioning your own understanding of love, loss, and the meaning of letting go.
How to Live When You Could Be Dead by Deborah James
“Expressing gratefulness during personal adversity like loss or chronic illness, as hard as that might be, can help you adjust, move on, and perhaps begin anew. Although it may be challenging to celebrate your blessings at moments when they seem least apparent to you, it may be the most important thing you can do.”
"How to Live When You Could Be Dead" is a testament to the power of resilience, hope, and choosing life in the face of adversity. While not explicitly about grief, Deborah James' powerful message resonates deeply with those who have experienced loss. Diagnosed with incurable cancer at a young age, James shares her hard-won wisdom on navigating seemingly hopeless situations, offering invaluable insights and practical tools for finding strength and purpose in even the darkest moments.
This raw and honest account is a celebration of life, reminding us that even in the face of overwhelming challenges, we can choose to embrace rebellious hope, refuse to be defined by our circumstances, and live fully in the present moment.
Choosing to live, rather than being defined by our circumstances is key to unlocking a greater sense of contentment and hope. "How to Live When You Could Be Dead" is beautifully written, raw and honest, and even though Deborah may be gone, she has shown the world that choosing to live, rather than being defined by our circumstances, is key to unlocking a greater sense of contentment and hope.
