How to support a bereaved student at university
We’re here to help you support and empower your students who go through loss at a young age.
Starting university is a significant milestone in anyone’s life. It’s seen as the transition into adulthood, where one is expected to gain their independence and prepare for working life. University should be a fun and exciting chapter but it’s not always the easiest; a chapter that any parent only hopes that their child simply enjoys their experience. But experiencing parental loss in the process can be an incredibly difficult and lonely time, particularly when the student is living away from home.
Become familiar with the help and support available from your university
Most universities offer some sort of in-house counselling support. With the likelihood of losing a parent increasing as we all get older, becoming familiar with the support your university has to offer is important so that you can signpost your students to the right place. It’s common for students to feel a little lost at university under any circumstance, let alone if they lose a parent during their time there. Therefore linking them up to relevant support networks available will help them feel more supported.
We also recommend that universities offer mental health training for all employees so they can handle these circumstances in the right way which, in turn, will help the student to feel supported.
Remember that the human brain isn’t fully developed until 25
Just because someone is at university doesn’t mean they have fully ‘grown up’. University can be a testing and daunting time for anyone without the additional stress of such a significant and sad life event.
Research has identified that the human brain does not fully develop until someone is 25 years of age. Therefore the pressures of balancing degree studies, maintaining a social life and possibly living away from home during the loss of a parent will come with an extremely challenging mix of emotions to have to navigate.
Show compassion
It’s a devastating loss at any age to experience parental loss. Try to be as flexible and accommodating as possible when it comes to lectures, seminars, exams and coursework.
It’s likely that your student may need to make trips back home to support other family members, and this will no doubt impact their university studies.
At the end of the day, students at university are still human, and trying to juggle a degree during such a challenging time is by no means an easy feat. Offer them time to talk through their situation (if they want to discuss), talk them through the process and make sure resources are available if they want to catch up on lectures and seminars whilst at home.
Help the bereaved with their extenuating circumstances application
The extenuating circumstances process can be complicated and the individual will have a lot on their mind, so supporting them with their application would be hugely beneficial. Ensuring the student feels supported and doesn’t feel like this incredibly tough life event will impact them academically is so important.
Universities need to be more flexible with the extenuating circumstances when you lose a parent as it dramatically affects their lives. Making sure they are given the time and space to focus on their bereavement rather than worrying about their studies will take the pressure off and will help towards their mental health.
What students are saying
What did your university do well?
“They turned off the absence notification emails whilst I was off so I didn’t have to deal with that.”
“They accepted my extenuating circumstances and let me have counselling when my dad was ill.”
“I was allowed to retake 2 exams whilst my Dad was in hospital over Christmas.”
What did your university not do well?
“There was no real support system in place. Lecturers didn’t know what to say and counseling wasn’t available.”
“I just felt like a number and felt as though no one was really looking out for me.”
“The only solution they had was exam deferral, which meant I wouldn’t be able to graduate at the same time as my friends, which didn’t feel like a solution to my grief.”
If you’d like this help guide as a PDF you can download it here