Ways to cope with grief on harder days
Some days, grief feels quieter, like a background hum. Other days, it hits harder, whether triggered by an anniversary, a memory, or just the weight of missing them.
On those hard days, it can be hard to know what will help. While there’s no right or wrong way to cope and whatever feels right for you is okay. In this post, we’ll explore gentle ways to navigate grief when it feels overwhelming, and making space for both reflection and connection.
Journalling:
Journalling or writing your feelings down can be a really helpful way, especially if you feel stuck in your own brain.
Getting your thoughts down on paper is a great way of gaining insight into how you are really feeling, and it allows you to express yourself without fear or judgement. This process can allow you to relieve stress, and help process the difficult or complex emotions you may experience. Journalling also allows you to keep track of how your thoughts and feelings have progressed over time, and how far you have come since the beginning of your journey.
Talking about your grief:
Your social support network is there for you in times of need. Try meeting up with a close friend or family member in person, or FaceTime them if they live far away or you don't feel like leaving the house. Especially those who are going through or have been through similar experiences. Sharing these feelings with others can provide you with comfort and enhance the strength of connections with those around you.
Lettie, one of our interns recalls her experience:
"I found it particularly useful to stay in contact with friends during the initial grieving period, rather than isolating myself, as this provided me with the support and mood boost that I needed."
Physical activity:
Sometimes this can be the last thing we want to do, and if you know your relationship with excercise is negative, feel free to skip past this section! You can find some more helpful advice from Beat.
Whether you are in need of some gentle exercise like yoga, or cathartic exercise like cardio, any form of physical activity is good to help get your body moving and can be a great mood booster.
If you can get outside in nature and go for a walk to get some fresh air, this can be particularly beneficial for your mental wellbeing and 'clearing your mind.'
One of our volunteers, Katie, wrote an article ‘how running helped me process my grief’, saying “Running gave me a focus and a chance to be alone with my thoughts in an environment that felt safe. Where home was often heavy with sharp reminders of my dad’s absence, continuously pounding the pavements with the wind in my face or the sun on my back, reminded me of the reasons to keep going.”
Music or Podcasts:
Music can evoke positive memories that bring joy and good feelings, reminding us of the moments we spent with that person listening to that music. Try creating a playlist of songs that remind you of them to listen to when you would like to be reminded of their presence through song.
This may be hard to do if you’re early in your grief journey, so maybe keep the idea for when you feel ready.
Podcasts that discuss the experience of grieving let you know that you are not alone in this, which helps to normalise your feelings and experiences. Here are some examples of podcasts you may enjoy listening to:
Mindfulness:
Now, sometimes mindfulness can feel like a cliche. How breathing going to help me when I’ve just lost someone so important? It can feel pointless.
Whilst mindfulness and meditation may not be for everyone, it is worth a try to figure out whether it may work for you. Simply put your phone down, sit in a quiet space where you won't be distracted, and take two minutes for yourself. Take several deep breaths, pushing out your stomach as you breathe in, and contracting your stomach as you breathe out. Try to take pauses between the cycles of breath, and notice how you feel afterwards.
Lettie, one of our interns describes her experience of meditation:
"I found it difficult to meditate or do yoga in the first year following my father's passing, but the more I practised it and allowed myself time and space to do it, I found it very healing, and now these are practices are part of my life, helping me relax and cope during difficult situations."
But mindfulness doesn’t have to be the classic yoga or meditation! It can be anything you want it to be.
Another way of being mindful can be the process of gratitude. So finding joy and gratitude in the small, everyday things, like seeing the blue sky after rainy days.
A way of practising this could be going on an ‘awe walk’. This is the idea of taking a walk, without headphones, and taking in what is around you. It helps you notcie the little things and is a great way to practise non-traditional mindfulness.
Online community:
In 2022, we launched a brand new online community, making it easy to connect with others who have experienced a similar loss, whilst gaining access to a wide variety of useful resources.
We know how difficult many life events can be after losing a parent. Our online community will equip you will useful resources to navigate these challenges, whilst giving you the opportunity to connect with likeminded people who share the same feeling of loss of a parent.
We also host our Book Club on here, as well as an active ‘grief chat’ where people support one another.