Tips to support someone
When you’re supporting someone through grief, the funeral can be the first big hurdle. It’s often very raw and can be very overwhelming, even if the service is more of a celebration, it can be an emotionally charged day. We’ve put together some tips and ideas to help you navigate the service with them.
Admin tasks
One practical thing to do is to help with any admin. It depends on their role in the service but they may need help with research, paperwork or organising.
If they’re not involved in the funeral planning, you could also help them with other life admin that they might have fallen behind with, like cooking meals, food shops or walking the dog.
Little signs to show you care
A thoughtful way to show you care is through small gestures. For example, bringing their favorite chocolate bar when you know they've had a rough day, or getting them takeout when they're stressed. You could also offer to go for a walk or do something to take their mind off things for a while. Even though these gestures may seem small, they can make a big difference in showing to someone that you care and bringing some light to a difficult situation.
Check-in
It is crucial to check in with people who are grieving. Many people avoid discussing grief or funerals because they are worried about saying the wrong thing or "reminding" the person of their loss. However, it is important to remember that the person is already thinking about their loss and it's better to say something than nothing at all. If you do say something wrong, simply apologise and learn from it.
Individuals who are grieving may find it difficult to seek support, so it's a good idea to reach out to them first instead of waiting for them to initiate contact. You can also reassure them that you don't expect a reply but just want them to know that you are there for them whenever they need you.
Everyone grieves differently
Remember that everyone grieves differently. You might expect people to cry or be stressed during the time around the funeral, but instead, they might be laughing, joking, and wanting to make plans.
It's important to listen to them and understand what they need in those moments. Some people may need distraction from the funeral and want things to continue as 'normal'. It's important not to judge this and to understand that grief is always changing.