Eilidh’s Story
My mum caught covid at the start of September 2023. After a few weeks her symptoms of coughing, fatigue and lack of appetite did not improve, she was given antibiotics for a chest infection but the symptoms did not subside.
On the 6th of October she was rushed to the ICU in hospital with difficulty breathing and was diagnosed with pneumonia. Unfortunately two days later she developed sepsis as an immune reaction to the pneumonia and was put into a medically induced coma on life support.
On that day I was told to prepare for the worst, how can my Mum be dying when I only spoke to her days prior? I visited my Mum everyday in hospital hoping for her recovery holding her hand but unfortunately after a week on life support my Mum could no longer fight and her body started to shut down. She passed away in the morning on the 15th of October.
Losing my Mum so suddenly put me in such a shocked state for so long it still doesn’t feel real. I used to feel like nobody understood the pain I felt until I started listening to podcasts and reading stories from other young people who had lost a parent. Nothing prepares you for the pain but there is comfort in finding community with others who understand.
My advice to anyone is to feel your feelings when you feel safe to and find people you feel comfortable talking to who can hold a space for your greif. I wouldn’t have gotten through this without my friends and family’s support.
I wrote a short poem about my grief.
“Some days, I feel as if I'm conquering the world in your honor, while other days, I’m lost in the heartache of your absence.
I still expect my phone to light up with your name, still reach for it to call you, only to place it back down slowly when reality sets in.
Jealousy surfaces when others speak of their mothers, and sadness wells up whenever I’m asked about mine.
In the midst of my daily routine,
I often find myself thinking of you,
your memory lingering in each familiar task.
Even in the ordinary, I wish you were here.
I grieve not just for who I was before, but for who you could have been. Your absence is felt at every milestone, the depth of love and loss intertwined.
Yet, when I look up at the sky and feel the sun’s warmth, I sense you there with me. You are a part of me, woven into my being, and though grief is a constant companion, it is a testament to our bond. ”
